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Different Opinions about Different Wives


1. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

2. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

3. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

4. Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous

5. The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
Dumas

6. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

7. 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous

8. 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

9. 'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra

10. Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra

11. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Nash

12. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous

13. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Henny Youngman

14. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

15. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'.. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

16. First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous
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   JOKE OF THE DAY
 
Don't Lie to Mom


John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Lesson of the day...Don't Lie To Your Mother.
 
   
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