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Different Opinions about Different Wives


1. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

2. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

3. By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

4. Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous

5. The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
Dumas

6. I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

7. 'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous

8. 'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

9. 'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra

10. Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra

11. The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Nash

12. You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous

13. My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Henny Youngman

14. A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

15. A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'.. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

16. First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous
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   JOKE OF THE DAY
 
15 Things To Never Say To A Cop


1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

3. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with me...Good job!

4. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.

5. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

6. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

7. Is it true that people become cops because they're too dumb to work at McDonald's?

8. I pay your salary!

9. So, uh, you on the take, or what?

10. Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too!

11. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

12. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are.

13. What do you mean, "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.

14. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

15. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum.
 
   
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