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Emergency Landing - 2

Harold and Al were on a small chartered airplane when the pilot suddenly had a heart attack.

"Don`t Panic," cried Harold heroically. "I`ll land this baby!"

Seizing the controls he headed for the runway at LaGuardia Airport, and began wrestling the diving plane to the ground. Just as the wheels touched the ground, Al screamed, "Red lights!! Right in front of you!"

Immediately Harold threw the engine in reverse and jammed on the breaks, bringing the plane to a violent stop just inches from the edge of the lights.

"Brother!" he puffed, wiping his brow. "That sure was a short runway!"

"Yeah," agreed Al, looking side to side, "but look how WIDE it is."
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I've never felt better in my life

One day in court, the prosecuting lawyer asked the farmer on the witness stand, ""At the scene of the accident, did you tell the policeman you had never felt better in your
life?""

""That's right."" The farmer replied.

""Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?""

The farmer explained. ""When the policeman arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up, and
shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought, under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I've never felt better in my life."""
 
   
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