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   JOKE  
 
Emergency Landing - 2

Harold and Al were on a small chartered airplane when the pilot suddenly had a heart attack.

"Don`t Panic," cried Harold heroically. "I`ll land this baby!"

Seizing the controls he headed for the runway at LaGuardia Airport, and began wrestling the diving plane to the ground. Just as the wheels touched the ground, Al screamed, "Red lights!! Right in front of you!"

Immediately Harold threw the engine in reverse and jammed on the breaks, bringing the plane to a violent stop just inches from the edge of the lights.

"Brother!" he puffed, wiping his brow. "That sure was a short runway!"

"Yeah," agreed Al, looking side to side, "but look how WIDE it is."
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   JOKE OF THE DAY
 
Top 20 things to wish for at work on a BAD DAY

1. How about never? Is that good for you?

2. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

3. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

4. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

5. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

8. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

9. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

10. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

11. You sound reasonable.....It must be time to up the medication.

12. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

13. Do I look like a people person?

14. Does your train of thought have a caboose?

15. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

16. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

18. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

19. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted the paychecks.

20. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
 
   
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