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Claude the Hypnotist 


It was entertainment night at the local Senior Citizens Centre, and Claude the hypnotist explained:

"I'm here to put you all into a trance.I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his waistcoat pocket.

"I want each of you to keep your eyes on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting,

"Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch..."


The crowd became mesmerised as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. A hundred pairs of ancient eyes followed the swaying watch until, suddenly, the chain broke, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into million pieces.

"SHIT !" said Claude the Hypnotist.


It took three days to clean up the Senior Citizens Centre and Claude was never invited back.
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Historical Wife

A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks. "It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!" "You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling. "No, I mean HISTORICAL," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go "I still remember that time when you ...."
 
   
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