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Big John

A very slightly built bus driver named Bob was running his route one day when a big hulk of a guy got on.

The man was six feet-eight, built like a wrestler and had arms that hung down to the ground. He glared at the diminutive driver and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sat down at the back. The very frightened bus driver was upset, but decided it would not be smart to argue with Big John.
It became a daily event. Big John would get on, say “Big John doesn’t pay!” and sit in the back.

And each day, Bob got a little more upset about being taken advantage of.

Finally Bob could stand it no longer. He signed up for body building courses, plus karate and judo. By the end of the summer, he had become quite strong. What’s more, he felt really good about himself.

So on a Monday morning, when Big John once again got on the bus and said, “Big John doesn’t pay!” Bob stood up, glared back at the passenger and screamed, “And why not?”

With a surprised look on his face, Big John replied, “Big John has a bus pass.”.
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Don't Lie to Mom


John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Lesson of the day...Don't Lie To Your Mother.
 
   
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