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The End Is Near friend

A local priest and a local pastor stood by the side of the road holding up a sign that said, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" They planned to hold up the sign to each passing car. 

"Leave us alone, you religious nuts!" yelled the first driver as he sped by. 

From around the curve they heard a big splash. 

"Do you think," said one clergyman to the other, "we should just put up a sign that says 'bridge out' instead?"
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You Don't Suppose She Is Faking

Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.

"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."

"You know you're right" exclaimed Smith. "I didn't realize it. 

You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"
 
   
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