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Darn Cat

A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." 

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab, "Sorry I took so long," he says. "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
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You Don't Suppose She Is Faking

Finally, the good-natured boss was compelled to call Smith into his office.

"It has not escaped my attention," he pointed out, "that every time there's a home game at the stadium, you have to take your aunt to the doctor."

"You know you're right" exclaimed Smith. "I didn't realize it. 

You don't suppose she's faking, do you?"
 
   
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