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   JOKE  
 
Darn Cat

A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." 

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab, "Sorry I took so long," he says. "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
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   JOKE OF THE DAY
 
I've never felt better in my life

One day in court, the prosecuting lawyer asked the farmer on the witness stand, ""At the scene of the accident, did you tell the policeman you had never felt better in your
life?""

""That's right."" The farmer replied.

""Well, then, how is it that you are now claiming you were seriously injured when my client's auto hit your wagon?""

The farmer explained. ""When the policeman arrived, he went over to my horse, who had a broken leg, and shot him. Then he went over to Rover, my dog, who was all banged up, and
shot him. When he asked me how I felt, I just thought, under the circumstances, it was a wise choice of words to say I've never felt better in my life."""
 
   
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