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Darn Cat

A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up, cat put out, etc. The taxi arrives, and as the couple got out, the cat shoots back in. They don't want the cat shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the cat out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother." 

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab, "Sorry I took so long," he says. "Stupid old thing was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out!"
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Top 20 things to wish for at work on a BAD DAY

1. How about never? Is that good for you?

2. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

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4. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

5. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

8. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

9. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

10. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

11. You sound reasonable.....It must be time to up the medication.

12. Who me? I just wander from room to room.

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17. Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

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