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• I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

• I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

• I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

• It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

• Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

• The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist

• Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental

• I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

• I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

• It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

• Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

• No, my powers can only be used for good.

• How about never? Is never good for you?

• I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me

• You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication

• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

• I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

• Who me? I just wander from room to room.

• My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

• At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

• You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

• I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

• Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
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An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me.

But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?
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