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Tip to recognize where a driver comes from


1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Has to be from Chicago.

2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Has to be from New York.

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: Has to be from New Jersey.

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Has to be from Boston.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Has to be from Los Angeles.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Has to be from Ohio, but driving in California.

7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Has to be from Italy.

8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Has to be from Seattle.

9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Has to be from Texas.

10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: Has to be from West Virginia.

11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Has to be from Florida.
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She Said.. He said:

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.
She said...You wear briefs, don't you?

He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

He said... "This coffee isn't fit for a pig!"
She said..."No problem, I'll get you some that is."

She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?
He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.

He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.
She said...Well, you succeeded.

Priest... 'I don't think you will ever find another man like your late husband.'
She said...'Who's gonna look?'

He said... You have a flat chest and need to shave your legs, have you ever been mistaken for a man?
She said...No, have you?

He said... Why do you women always try to impress us with your looks, not with your brains?
She said...Because there is a bigger chance that a man is a moron than he is blind.

He said... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said...Turn sideways and look in the mirror.

He said... Let's go out and have some fun tonight.
She said...Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway light on.
 
   
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