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Tip to recognize where a driver comes from


1. One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Has to be from Chicago.

2. One hand on wheel, one finger out window: Has to be from New York.

3. One hand on wheel, one finger out window, cutting across all lanes of traffic: Has to be from New Jersey.

4. One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Has to be from Boston.

5. One hand on wheel, one hand on non-fat double decaf cappuccino, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator, with gun in lap: Has to be from Los Angeles.

6. Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Has to be from Ohio, but driving in California.

7. Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Has to be from Italy.

8. One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on radio game: Has to be from Seattle.

9. One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both feet on brake, throwing McDonald's bag out the window: Has to be from Texas.

10. Four-wheel drive pick-up truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: Has to be from West Virginia.

11. Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above windshield, driving 35 on the Interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Has to be from Florida.
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Ten Signs You Are Too Old For Halloween

10. You get winded from knocking on the door. 

9. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. 

8. You ask for high fiber candy only. 

7. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. 

6. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask. 

5. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest. 

4. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders. 

3. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece. 

2. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. 

1. You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live. 
 
   
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