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The Funeral Van Driver

I was traveling to the train station the other day by taxi and as we approached I tapped him on the shoulder to tell him where to drop me out. He screamed loudly, lost complete control of the car, almost ran over an old lady as the cab mounted
the footpath, stopping inches away from a lamp post.

""Don't ever do that again"" said the driver. I apologized saying that I didn't realize
that a tiny tap on the shoulder would frighten him to the extent it had.

""It's not really your fault I suppose"" the taxi driver lamented ""it's my first day as a taxi
driver: ""I've spent the last fifteen years driving a funeral van."""
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Historical Wife

A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks. "It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!" "You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling. "No, I mean HISTORICAL," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go "I still remember that time when you ...."
 
   
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