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Questions difficult to answer


1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

2. Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there....I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."

3. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

5. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs! 

9. What do you call male ballerinas?

10. Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

11. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

12. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

13. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

14. Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? 

15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

16. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?

17. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?

18. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
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   JOKE OF THE DAY
 
Don't Lie to Mom


John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?" John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you do sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom."

Lesson of the day...Don't Lie To Your Mother.
 
   
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