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   JOKE  
 
Makes you wonder!!! - Part 1


If mummies are from egypt,then from where are daddies from?

Should vegetarians attend meetings?

If you mix flour, water and salt you get glue.

If you add eggs, baking powder and oil, you get cake.

Where does the glue go?

If breaks are meant to be slow... then why do they call it "breakfast"?

How can the cemetry raise it's burial costs and blame it on the price of living?

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?

Why do we bake cookies and cook bacon?

Why do they have ear piercing while you wait?
Is there some shop where you can drop them off and pick them up later?

Adam and Eve were the first people on earth............Did they have belly buttons?

A nice box of chocolates provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Isn't that handy?

Are unripened oranges called greens?

A wise old owl sat on an oak,

The more he saw the less he spoke,
The less he spoke the more he heard,

Why aren't we like that wise old bird?
(Edward H. Richards)

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

Can it be a mistake that "desserts" gives "stressed" spelled backwards?

Could your eyes be called an academy, because there are pupils there?

Crime doesn't pay. . .does that mean that my job is a crime?

Did Noah include termites on the ark?

Doesn't expecting the unexpected make the unexpected become the expected?

Does the name "Pavlov" ring a bell?

Do fish get thirsty?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Do penguins have knees?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?

Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How do you dial a pushbutton phone?

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

How can one TV station have the "exclusive" accurate weather? Did they "storm" in and scoop the others?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

How could I have been doing 70 miles an hour when I've only been driving for 10 minutes?

How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?

If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why
some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

The other day a woman came up to me and said, "Didn't I see you on television?" I said, "I don't know. You can't see out the other way."

Was it a rich or a smart person who said: "Money can't buy happiness."?

What do birdies see when they faint?

What do butterflies feel when they're in love?

What does an atheist do when he drives up behind a car with a "Honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticker and that car doesn't move when the traffic light turns green?

What do they use to ship styrofoam?
If a brown cow eats green grass why is it's milk white?

If a giraffe had a sore throat, how many lozenges would it need to make it better?
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   JOKE OF THE DAY
 
Office Poster ideas

If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

If you think we’re a bad firm, you should see our rivals!

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings - they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity… probably has a scapegoat.

ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE…..

We make great money! We have great benefits! We do no work! We are union members!

If at first you don’t succeed - try management.

It’s only unethical if you get caught.

Two days without a Human Rights Violation!

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

Never quit until you have another job.

Work harder slaves!

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

If you can read this, you’re not working!

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
 
   
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