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Just how bad did you say the economy was???

- Jury Duty is now considered a good-paying job.

- I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

- African television stations are now showing 'Sponsor an American Child' commercials!

- I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"

- CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

- Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.

- My ATM gave me an IOU!

- I saw a Mormon polygamist with only one wife.

- I bought a toaster oven and my free gift with the purchase was a bank.

- If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.

- McDonald's is now selling the 1/4 ouncer.

- Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

- Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned the names of their children.

- My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her!

- A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico .

- Motel Six won't leave the light on for you anymore.

- A picture is now only worth 200 words.

- They renamed Wall Street "Wal-Mart Street."

- When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

- One of the casinos in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates. 
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Learn to use right tools for the job

An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me.

But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?
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