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It shows that you've been out of college for too long when...

• Your potted plants stay alive.
• You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
• 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
• You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
• You carry an umbrella.
• You watch the Weather Channel.
• You can’t remember the last time you “pulled an all-nighter.”
• Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
• You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
• Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as ‘dressed up’
• You’re the one calling the police because those kids next door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.
• You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes any more.
• Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
• You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
• Your book shelves aren’t made of concrete blocks.
• You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
• Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
• MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
• You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids.
• A $3.00 bottle of wine is no longer ‘pretty good stuff’
• You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
• Grocery lists are longer than macaroni and cheese diet Pepsi and Twinkies.
• ‘I just can’t drink the way I used to’ replaces ‘I’m never going to drink that much again’
• Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
• You don’t pre-party at home, to save money, before going to a bar.
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Historical Wife

A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks. "It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!" "You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling. "No, I mean HISTORICAL," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go "I still remember that time when you ...."
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