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It shows that you've been out of college for too long when...

• Your potted plants stay alive.
• You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
• 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
• You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
• You carry an umbrella.
• You watch the Weather Channel.
• You can’t remember the last time you “pulled an all-nighter.”
• Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up.
• You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
• Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as ‘dressed up’
• You’re the one calling the police because those kids next door don’t know how to turn down the stereo.
• You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes any more.
• Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
• You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
• Your book shelves aren’t made of concrete blocks.
• You no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
• Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
• MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
• You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids.
• A $3.00 bottle of wine is no longer ‘pretty good stuff’
• You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
• Grocery lists are longer than macaroni and cheese diet Pepsi and Twinkies.
• ‘I just can’t drink the way I used to’ replaces ‘I’m never going to drink that much again’
• Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
• You don’t pre-party at home, to save money, before going to a bar.
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If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

If you think we’re a bad firm, you should see our rivals!

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings - they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity… probably has a scapegoat.


We make great money! We have great benefits! We do no work! We are union members!

If at first you don’t succeed - try management.

It’s only unethical if you get caught.

Two days without a Human Rights Violation!

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

Never quit until you have another job.

Work harder slaves!

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

If you can read this, you’re not working!

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!
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