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Before and After Falling In Love

Before - You take my breath away
After - I feel like I’m suffocating

Before - She says she loves the way I take control of the situation
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac

Before - Saturday Night Fever
After - Monday Night Football

Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars
After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done…

Before - The Sound of Music
After - The Sound of Silence

Before - It’s like I’m in a dream
After - It’s like he’s in a dorm

Before - $60/dozen
After - $1.50/stem

Before - We agree on everything!
After - Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

Before - Charming and Noble
After - Chernobyl

Before - Ideal
After - Idle

Before - I love a woman with curves
After - I never said you were fat

Before - He’s completely lost without me
After - Why won’t he ever ask for directions?

Before - Time stood still
After - This relationship is going nowhere

Before - Croissant and cappuccino
After - Bagel and instant

Before - Blind
After - Nearsighted

Before - You look so seductive in black
After - Your clothes are so depressing

Before - Iambic Pentameter
After - Blank Verse

Before - Oysters
After - Fish sticks

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other
After - I can’t believe I ended up with someone like you.
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Learn to use right tools for the job


An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me.

But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.

You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?
 
   
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