JOKE CATEGORIES
 
Jokes Archive
Picture Archive
Computer Jokes
Management Jokes
Short Stories
Bar Jokes
Farmers
Marriage
Wife Jokes
Video links
Men Jokes
Riddles
General Jokes
News clippings
Terms and conditions for this Portal
 
   
 
  JOKE INDEX
 
  A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
 
   
 
  SUBSCRIBE JOKES
 
Email Address
Subscribe
Unsubscribe
 
   
 
  OUR SPONSORS
 
 
   
 
   JOKE  
 
Your tennis elbow will never get better if you continue to…..

A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor."

"Don't do that," volunteered his friend, "there's a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment."

The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited $10. The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed:

You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks.

That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbated into the jar. He took this concoction down to the drugstore, poured it in the machine and deposited $10. The machine went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before then printed out the following message:

Your tap water has lead. Get a filter.
Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins.
Your daughter is on drugs. Get her in rehab.
Your wife is pregnant. It's not your baby. Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerking off your tennis elbow will never get better.
Rate This Joke ( )
 
   JOKE OF THE DAY
 
No traffic rules for doctors?
Dad's pager went off, summoning him to the hospital, where he is an anesthetist. As he raced toward the hospital, a patrol car sped up behind him--lights flashing.

Dad hung his stethoscope out the window to signal that he was on an emergency call.

Within seconds, came the police officer's hand in response, dangling a pair of handcuffs out the window.
 
   
  NEWEST JOKES
 
A Great Cup of Tea
Great Cheese
Grey Hair
Great Golf Shot
 
   
  NEWEST PICTURES
 
What are the odds?
Attorney sues self
Why men shouldn't write advice columns
 
   
  TOP RATED JOKES
 
Drawbacks to Working in a Cubicle 09/19/2013, 06:01:03 AM
Midlife crisis for Women 05/06/2013, 06:15:13 AM
Darn Cat 05/16/2013, 06:11:49 AM
Emergency Landing - 2 11/05/2013, 05:58:42 AM
Do It Now 09/05/2013, 06:09:57 AM
whats your answer??? 11/01/2011, 07:54:02 AM
 
   
 
 
 
  LOGIN HERE
 
Username
Password
Signup Now
Forgot password
 
   
 
  SPONSOR
 
 
   
 
Powered By Jokes Script