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Getting married again

A retired man went to a doctor for a general check-up. The doctor told the retiree that everything was fine and that, in fact, he was "in real good shape for a man of 93."

"That's good to know because I'm getting married in two weeks," said the retiree.

"Getting married! That's wonderful! Who's the lucky bride?" asked the doctor. The retiree replied, "She's a 27-year-old bar maid I met at the local pub."

"Only 27!" The doctor paused before he advised, "Then you will need some Viagra." The man replied, "No way, I never take drugs of any type. It's against my principles."

The doctor took some more time before he responded with: "You are in good shape, but nevertheless you are 93. May I suggest that you and your wife take in a boarder?"

"Why a boarder?" asked the retiree.

"Well, you know, at your age," winked the doctor, "you may not be able to do all the things a young woman would like a husband to do around the house. A boarder will be able to help." 

The retiree shrugged and said, "I guess you are right," as he walked out of the office. A year later, the retiree, now 94, came back to the doctor for another checkup.

"How's married life?" asked the doctor. "Amazing, it couldn't be better. I should have remarried years ago." 

"How's your wife?" asked the doctor. 

"She's doing fine," announced the retiree, "and she's pregnant." 

"Pregnant!" exclaimed the doctor. "I take it that you took in a boarder who has fit in quite well?"

"Yes, and she's pregnant too," grinned the retiree.
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Historical Wife

A man complains to a friend, "I can't take it anymore." "What's wrong?" his concerned friend asks. "It's my wife. Every time we have an argument, she gets historical!" "You mean hysterical," his friend said, chuckling. "No, I mean HISTORICAL," the man insists. "Every argument we have, she'll go "I still remember that time when you ...."
 
   
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